I am so Ready

Well yes I am ready ..Ready to start working out again and take care of myself and my Body ...as well as my mind...
Seems like the only way I can significantly gain and maintain a healthy weight and ofcourse state of mind..
I have a Beautiful Daughter and now a Grand Daughter ...Yeah she is Precious, I want to be around for her as long as I possibly can.I'm only 36 and my Daughtere is going to be 19 in April ..meaning I believe I'm pretty young and shouldn't worry about being around in the future for my grandchild but I do worry cause you never know what the future holds ..
I seriously plan on being here for My son, My Daughter and my Precious Grand Daughter JayLene ..
I have alot to look foward to and I expect it's going to be a pleasure and beautiful experience watching them all blossom into the people I know they can be ..Ofcourse trhey are all my Kid's and Grand Kid..So why should I expect any less of the only ones I have to show for my Life ..
I love my Family ..My Mother ..Thank God is still being my Mom and my Bother is too..I have a home with plenty of Love in it ..and that's where I want to be ..with my Family and my pet's..couldn't leave them out ..
Well I'll end this one for now biut know that with a new life comes new beginings for us all....

I can now that their getting into their own

So I guess now that both of my kid's are eighteen I can start to worry about myself since they have just drifted.
I don't know, sometimes I wonder if they will ever learn and someday be okay out there. My son will be cause he's just spoiled and has his mom to put a roof over his head nomatter what he does and says to her .. as well as his grandmother who see's no wrong in how he lives and behaves but I guess that's why he stay's away from me, Being that I don't put up with to much of his nonsense,
As for my Daughter Adesha, well she's a prize. It's tough being a father to an eighteen year old girl thats thinks everything is her way and owed to her. Although she's not like my son, cause she doesn't have the crutches he has in life so she strives for everything she has and wants.
Something like me, LOL ..She's a good girl though, very stubborn but smart and I know she will be okay at the end of the day.I worry about her the most ofcourse cause she's a woman and I know how hard it can be for her out there in this cruel world,, But I continuesly try to be there for her even though she is tough on me..Get that~ she's tough on me..I have to change that for real..
Anyway I'm gonna be back soon so I'll end this blog on this note ...
Don't ever forget who has to be number one, cause if you do everyone you love will never place or show !

Never to Late

It's amazing how much we have to endure in order to give ourselves and what we would prefer our loved ones to live for ...
I have done so much but nothing at all to change their decisions in every thing they have chosen in life, it has not been easy but not hard enough to do better as a father.
Please Michael and Adesha .. understand that even though we dont have the greatest relationship , I do want you two to know that in my own way ...I loved you guy's so much, I know I never did enough to make you happy or even want to be around me cause I didnt provide everything you always wanted but It hasnt always been easy to be there for you .
I just wanted to your father and spend time with the two of you ...
Why do we always have to wait till it's to late so we can see what we should have done...a long time ago, I spent all my time around rick cause he is and always has been my stone, my everything ...The only one that supported me through all the pain I put him and my loved ones through, he saved my relationship with you guy's and I love him for every minute of everyday we spent together.
I wanted you two to see the way we lived so that somehow you could have wanted to try and do the right thing in your youth for a chance in this life which is I must admit ...not fair at all, I know.
For what it's worth I just want you guy's to remember how much I truly care and love the both of you and if there was anything I could do for you in my absence or anything I can give you I would and it's your's to live with and share together...Iam not sure as I right this if it even means anything but when the time comes I want you two to not have to struggle as hard as I did as I was growing up as a teenager without my parent's ..
I plan on takin care of myself , but I do feel my body going through all sort of changes... I have lived with alot of stuff for a long time and it's all catching up to me like all the thing's I did in my teens. Dont be ignorant and be everything I know your capable of, you are my kid's and that means alot...I believe in you two even when you dont believe in yourselves.