It's amazing how much we have to endure in order to give ourselves and what we would prefer our loved ones to live for ...
I have done so much but nothing at all to change their decisions in every thing they have chosen in life, it has not been easy but not hard enough to do better as a father.
Please Michael and Adesha .. understand that even though we dont have the greatest relationship , I do want you two to know that in my own way ...I loved you guy's so much, I know I never did enough to make you happy or even want to be around me cause I didnt provide everything you always wanted but It hasnt always been easy to be there for you .
I just wanted to your father and spend time with the two of you ...
Why do we always have to wait till it's to late so we can see what we should have done...a long time ago, I spent all my time around rick cause he is and always has been my stone, my everything ...The only one that supported me through all the pain I put him and my loved ones through, he saved my relationship with you guy's and I love him for every minute of everyday we spent together.
I wanted you two to see the way we lived so that somehow you could have wanted to try and do the right thing in your youth for a chance in this life which is I must admit ...not fair at all, I know.
For what it's worth I just want you guy's to remember how much I truly care and love the both of you and if there was anything I could do for you in my absence or anything I can give you I would and it's your's to live with and share together...Iam not sure as I right this if it even means anything but when the time comes I want you two to not have to struggle as hard as I did as I was growing up as a teenager without my parent's ..
I plan on takin care of myself , but I do feel my body going through all sort of changes... I have lived with alot of stuff for a long time and it's all catching up to me like all the thing's I did in my teens. Dont be ignorant and be everything I know your capable of, you are my kid's and that means alot...I believe in you two even when you dont believe in yourselves.
